Thursday, October 28, 2010

"It's Not Worth It" (Sneak Peek: Chapter 4)

Copyright © 2010
All rights reserved to Botta Bing.
ISBN 978-0-557-68213-3

Chapter 4:

Ever since my last encounter with Jamel, he made it a point to leave me voicemails and text messages every single day. He even apologized for some of the things he said to me. He kept telling me he still loved me, and whenever I was ready to be committed he better be the person I was going to be committed to.
I continued to ignore him. I knew what taking away “pussy privileges” could do to a man. They would say and do anything to get you back in the sack with them. I knew he would never really leave Malinda alone to be with me; the same way he hadn’t left me alone to be faithful to her. I felt good about my decision to be done with him. It felt as if I had just dodged a huge missile. He could try as hard as he wanted, but I wasn’t giving in. I figured he would get the point sooner or later.
I heard the doorbell ring downstairs. I hurried down the stairs to answer the door, knowing it was Tammy and Marcie. I had invited them over to chill with me and catch up on some things. Janessa had to work, or otherwise she would have been invited as well.
When I made it down the stairs, I saw that my mother beat me to the door. She had already let my friends in and was welcoming them with hugs. She loved my friends like extended family and they loved her just the same. They knew they could come to her about anything, just as I knew I could.
I joined in the hugging, then told my friends to follow me upstairs.
“Ya’ll stayin’ for dinner?” My mother called out behind them as we walked up the stairs.
“You know I am.” Tammy called back with a smile.
“Ok then.” My mom responded. “I don’t even need to ask Ms. Greedy…I already know she’s staying too.”
We all laughed at Lanett’s references to Marcie. That girl could eat. My mom knew that if she was coming over, she had better make enough food for her as well.
“See that’s why I love you mama Lanett. You know me well.” Marcie replied in the middle of her laughter.
When we made it up to my room I closed the door behind us.
“Ok. So, I can’t wait any longer. I have to tell ya’ll somethin.” Marcie blurted out as soon as she sat down at my computer desk.
“What?” Tammy and I said in unison.
“I have a boyfriend.” She said with the largest smile on her face I had ever seen. Her gray eyes were gleaming with happiness.
Tamela replied first. “Are you serious Marcie? You haven’t had a boyfriend since elementary school. So, this is really big news.”
“I know. Langston is just so different from all the other niggas I been fuckin’ wit. We really, really like eachother. I know it’s kind of soon, but I know everything I need to know about him to know he’ll be around for a minute. And look what he bought me.” Marcie placed her hand on her neck, drawing our attention to the beautiful platinum heart charm that hung there. There was a diamond studded arrow going through the heart that sparkled with Marcie’s every move.
“Damn, girl.” I said with an impressed expression on my face. “You must have worked his ass out.”
We all laughed.
“That’s the thing. We haven’t even had sex. He doesn’t act like I owe him anything but my time. We have so much fun together. It almost feels like it was meant to be. I mean, don’t get me wrong I still have my guard up because he’s almost too good to be true, but ya’ll know me…I’m usually good with seein’ people for what they really are. I’m not one to play around. I just really feel like he has been nothing but honest to me from the start.”
Marcie made valid points. I was a little on the edge about this dude buyin’ my sista expensive gifts and not asking anything back from her. I thought there must be something he wanted from her. Those type of guys just didn’t exist nowadays. Like she said though, she wasn’t one to just spend a lot of time with someone that gave her bad feelings. She would just get what she could out of them, and then leave them alone. She was the one who noticed when guys we talked to seemed a little shady, and 9 times out of 10 she turned out to be right, even when we fought her on it. So I trusted her on this. I knew she made good decisions.
I smiled at her. “Aww…I’m happy for you girl. I can hardly believe it, but I’m happy that somebody is makin’ my sista happy.”
“Ok this is too emotional for me. Ya’ll need to toughen back up.” Tammy said laughing. “I’m happy for you too though sis, you hit the jackpot with this one. Buying you gifts like that and ya’ll have only been kickin’ it for like a month? And you didn’t give him any? What is he gonna buy when you do give him some?”
We all laughed at Tammy. She was all about the money.
“I am worried about Nessa though.” Marcie said, changing the subject.
“Why? What’s up with her?” I asked.
“Nothing. I just don’t really like Kendall. Him and Langston almost got into it last weekend. Do you know he had the nerve to try and hit on me?”
“What type of shit is that?” Tammy asked.
“I know right? That’s what I said. He tried to make it seem like he was just playin’, but Langston was pissed. He said it wasn’t the first time he tried his luck with one of his female friends. That wasn’t really what made me not like him though. It’s just something about him that I can’t put my finger on.”
That was what she always said when she didn’t like somebody. Whatever it was that she couldn’t pinpoint just about always came to surface soon enough. I wondered what it would be this time.
“So what’s up with this whole wedding thing Janessa told me about?” Tammy asked, looking at me.
I hadn’t taken my mind off that matter yet. I had to find a way to get in touch with Rome. I had to see if there was any chance that I might be able to have him.
“Yea, Rome’s married.” I said with a blank looking face.
“So what’s up with that?” Marcie asked, knowing I was hurt about the whole thing. They knew how I was about something when I wanted it. Nothing was going to stop me. It was that very reason that I had just about everything I wanted.
That didn’t just apply to men; it applied to getting grades raised at school, getting whatever job I wanted, and sometimes even getting over on my mother without her noticing. In this case however, Rome happened to be something that I wanted for a very long time. I just couldn’t bring myself to approach him, which was completely out of my character.
Normally when I wanted something, I just went for it and fought for it until it was mine. There was just some kind of control that Rome had over me that I couldn’t explain if I tried. Whatever it was, it drew me to him while at the same time repelled me away. At this point I decided to make myself push past the repellant and see how far I could get with him. It was never too late.
“Ya’ll know I’m not giving up.” I smirked at them. “I just need to find a way to run into him or get in touch with him.”
Tammy looked concerned. “I know you want him, and that you have been wanting him for a real long time. But damn, you just gonna take him from his new wife like that? This ain’t the same as the game you play with boyfriends. He’s someone’s husband. I mean, I could even see if he was just some old dude who’s bored with his wife that you were playin’ for cash. This is different. You have real feelings for Rome, and he is a newlywed.”
“I know. That will only make it easier for me though, they ain’t been married that long. He know he wanna see what I’m about. I’m not givin’ up. I just need closure or something. It’s like, I never tried, and I won’t know unless I do. I don’t wanna be stuck on the ‘shoulda, coulda, woulda,’ I wanna know for sure.”
“Well at least get some money out of it.” Tamela said, realizing she wasn’t about to change my mind.
“You know what you can do?” Marcie chimed in.
“Your mom catered his wedding right?”
“So she still has his contact information somewhere right?”
“Yea.” I could see where she was going with this.
“So you should find a way to get to it.”
“That would almost be like I’m stalkin’ him or somethin’. I don’t wanna seem crazy.” I told her.
“You could like pretend it’s a courtesy call or something.” Tamela said, adding on to Marcie’s idea. “You know call for Lanett’s catering service. Say you’re doing a follow up to make sure they were satisfied with the food and stuff.”
I smiled. “Now that doesn’t sound like a bad idea.”
“Yea. You should tell him you need to meet with him or something because there was a problem with the bill.” Marcie took it a step further. “That way ya’ll can meet face to face and you can tell him how you feel, and then just go from there.”
It sounded crazy, but I liked the idea. It would be risky but I was willing to do it for a little time with Rome. I would be able to see where his head was. If I told him who I was and he agreed to meet with me that would be all the information I needed to know.
“Alright I’m gonna do it.” I was nervous about the whole thing and almost felt like just counting this one as a loss, but I decided to go through with it.


  1. I'm in love with this book already, let me know when you publish it, so I can download my copy ;)

  2. I'm glad u like it...thank you for reading! You can download it January 1st!! =)

  3. Yeah your book sound so good and I couldn't stop reading. Is this the only book that you wrote so far?

  4. Thank you! Yes, this is the first book I actually completed; my debut! I'm happy you enjoyed it! ^_^

  5. Thanks so much for posting this! I'm loving it. I cant wait to read the next chapter but im also sad because I'll have to wait until january or whenever i can afford to pay for it to read the rest

  6. Thank you so much...I'm glad you enjoyed it.! && don't worry the book comes to a total of less than $6...I wanted to make sure it wasn't too expensive.! ^_^

  7. Found your link on a blog about my babie Wiz Khalifa, and have read the 1st four chapters. About to purchase the book now; gots to read a few more chapters before going to bed. lol

  8. Wow You have skills!!!